Wordpress.

just incase anyone ever looks at this blog anymore, I now write here.

Blessings!

There is a reason why.

For all of those who ever wondered, why?

why...
people die?
daddies leave their babies?
husbands cheat on their wives and vice versa?
husbands leave their wives and vice versa?
people starve?
people kill each other in war, or any other time?
leaders help countries fall?
people commit suicide?
people get drunk?
people do drugs?
people break each other's hearts?
people steal?
people lie?
people are passive?
people are aggressive?
people are ignorant?
people get irritated?
people get angry?
people are kidnapped?
people are abused?
people are raped?
people sleep around?
people prostitute themselves?
people go into debt?
people get sick?
people are selfish?
people gossip?
children disobey their parents?
people disobey God?

"Why?" "Why do bad things happen?" "Why do bad things happen to good people?" "Why did this have to happen?"

A simple yet scriptural answer= SIN.

We live in a fallen world. We are all sinners. None of us are "good" (None is righteous, no, not one -Romans 3:10) The only one good and holy is God, He is perfect. Not humans, notice how all of the why questions above have to do with people?

Look at these verses on people:

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"
—Romans 3:23

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
—Galatians 5:19-21

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.
—Colossians 3:5-6

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
—1 John 1:7-9

Thank our God of heaven and earth that by calling on His name we can repent from our sin and have new life in Him for now and for eterntiy. We can be forgiven and free. The Gospel is GOOD NEWS for all who believe, not for those that dont.

If you dont know what the gospel is, please I am begging you, ask me.

If you consider yourself a Christian, ask yourself: do you hate sin as much as God hates sin? If not, why not?

Halleluyah for these amazing truths. We dont have to dwell and feel condemed by sin when we are His children!

"being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus" Rom. 3:24

"Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him." Rom. 5:9

"that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. Rom 10:9&10

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8

the kind of wife that...

I want to be the kind of wife that...
- warms up her husband's towel when he's in the shower on a cold winter morning
- packs him his lunch so he has healthy energy throughout his hard working day
- makes sure he has three healthy meals to eat each day
- goes to bed at the same time as him without worrying about the things I didnt mark off the "to do" list
- wakes up at the same as him time to praise our Lord together
- shops frugally, when and if I have to, looking hard for the best deals in town so not to spend his hard earned money (God's money) unwisely
- listens, I mean really listens when he speaks
- is his soft place to land at the end of the day
- creates a comfortable, homey atmosphere for him to rest
- he can always be proud of

but more than those, I want to be the kind of wife that...
- prays for him (EPH 1:17,18)
- speaks the truth (EPH 4:25)
- is a suitable helper (GEN 2:18)
- is a fruitful vine (PSA 128:3)
- has noble character (PRO 12:4)
- builds her house up (PRO 14:1)
- is prudent (PRO 19:14)
- brings him good (PRO 30:12)
- does not eat the bread of idleness (PRO 30:27)
- fears Yahuah (PRO 30:30)
- speaks with wisdon (PRO 30:26)
- doesnt deprive her husband (1 COR 7:5)
- submits to him (EPH 5:24)
- worthy of respect, not a malicious talker but temperate and trustworthy in everything (1 Tim 3:11)
- clothes herself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bears with him and forgives whatever grievances she has. Forgives as the Lord forgave her. And over all these virtues, she puts on love, which binds them together in perfect unity. She lets the peace of Christ rule in her heart, since as members of one body she was called to peace. And she is thankful. She lets the word of Christ dwell in her richly as they teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as they sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in their hearts to God. and whatever they do, whether in word or deed, doing it all in the name of their Lord, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (COL 3:12-19)

I want to be those for you Micah. I want to be that kind of wife to you. I love you.

minority.

"push forward, keep going, keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can, only ____ time left, to do- check, to do- Ill get to it later this week, no, sorry I cant meet I'm too busy, sure I'd love to meet but I only can for 45min, if I had more time....."

The list of things I say in my head or say to others could go on and on.

I haven't blogged in over a month, and honestly I'm not sure how much I will for a while. I just really need to get some thoughts out.

I am running so hard right now, I honestly feel like a different person. Not one that I like. I should be in such a happy place right now, I am graduating soon and getting married soon after. I am old enough to know that feeling happy shouldn't be based on circumstances and while I am happy about those two things. The process of getting there makes me feel like I am running so fast I am going to fall, fall or fail... I'm not sure which.

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel like this always but often I feel like I am failing everyone around me. I am so scattered that I am not devoting myself fully to one area of my life.

that includes my relationship with God. The only one I should be running for. He set a race before me for Him.

As much as I hate telling people "no I cant meet this week" or "sorry my project/paper isn't 100%, maybe if I had more time, or didn't have so much going on" that isn't the hardest thing. The hardest thing is how it scatters my mind.

He tells me to love Him, with all my heart, with all my mind, and with all my strength and I'm not... I dont feel like my mind is put together enough to focus on Him even long enough to get through a prayer, quiet time, or bible study.

I tell myself that after school, or after the wedding, or etc etc it will be different. The truth is, I have to make a conscious effort to let my mind rest in Him. No matter what I have going on. There will always be things going on, Satan will always want me to be distracted from Him. I have to find rest in Him no matter what, who, when, where.

My desire right now is Him.
Not to rush to graduate. Not to rush to my wedding (although, Micah if you are reading this- don't worry I am as excited as they come!), but my desire is for my God.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you" -Psalm 73:25

Thank God He is not circumstantial. His love is everlasting. He is never too busy for me, because He knows when I get up and when I lay down. He knows the number of hairs on my head. He knows every thought in my mind.

I cant help but think how it must sadden Him that lately, while I give Him honor and praise for everything. He has not been my everything, the major in my life. He has been the minor. Other things have been major, things I'm much too ashamed to write out for everyone to see.

When everything else in life seems major how do you keep yourself from wandering?


Please pray for simplicity for my life. Pray I would captivate every thought to Him, and that most of my thoughts would be for Him.

Selflessness.

After my recent engagement I was super excited to ready this chapter. I am praying that over the next 4 months God really empties me of my personal selfish desires and that they are directed first to God, and then to my husband.

It is only in the giving of oneself to others that we truly live - Ethel Andrus

Definition of Selflessness:
a. having no concern for self
b. unselfish
c. acting with less concern for yourself than for the success of the joint activity
d. self-sacrificing

You can give without loving but you cannot love without giving - Amy Carmichael

Life lived just to satisfy yourself never satisfies anybody - unknown

I find life an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others
- Helen Keller

Queen Esther "Then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I am willing to die"

I think a truly selfless woman is one who does think of herself, but in the right way. It is important to maintain a healthy balance between giving without thought for our own needs and recognizing that we have legitimate needs.

"If you are all wrapped up in yourself then you are overdressed". - Kate Halverson

Reflection Questions:
1) How would you define a selfless woman?
2) How does our culture view selflessness?
3) In your experience, who models or has modeled selflessness for you?
4) In what ways do other people consider you to be a selfless woman?
5) In what ways would you like to become a selfless woman?
6) What steps can you take to nurture a healthy selflessness in your life?

God lovingly asks us to trust Him, surrender control of our lives, and live selflessly.

Luke 9:23-25
23 Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily,and follow Me. 24 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. 25 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?

Romans 14:7-8
7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

Galatians 2:20
20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Ephesians 4:21-24
1 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: 22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.

Integrity.

Women of integrity are not only beautiful, they shine. Their radiance reflects a purity of heart that can only be called beautiful.

A woman of integrity is trustworthy, responsible, and truthful.

Definition:
a. honest
b. firm adherence to a code of values
c. incorruptibility
d. a state of being complete, undivided

Laws and principles are not for the times when there is no temptation: they are for moments as this, when the body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigor; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth?
Because of her integrity, Jane Eyre was confident of her own worth and knew she could not compromise herself, for if she did, she would lose her dignity and her self respect.

Principles are for "such moments as this".

Jane was not willing to settle for a relationship of convenience.
Never Settle was one of the best pieces of advice I ever received.

Integrity is sensible and beautiful.

Don't choose passion over principle nor principle over passion.

She didn't allow circumstances to dictate her character, she was realistic, transparent, and genuine.

She keeps her commitments even when circumstances change.

Harper Lee, "the one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience".

Integrity graces its bearer with a settled assurance of who we are and what we believe. Integrity is attractive because truth bestows a loveliness that is rarely found. Character does contribute to beauty- and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful. Uncommonly beautiful.

Proverbs 10:9
He who walks with integrity walks securely,
But he who perverts his ways will become known.

Proverbs 11:3
The integrity of the upright will guide them,
But the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them.

Acts 24:15-16
I have hope in God, which they themselves also accept, that there will be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and the unjust. This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.

1 Peter 2:15-17
For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men— as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bond servants of God. Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.

Reflections:
1) How would you describe a woman of integrity?
2) What does our culture teach us about integrity?
3) In your experience, who models or has modeled integrity for you?
4) In what ways, would you like to become more of a woman of integrity?
5) In what ways do others consider you a woman of integrity?
6) What steps can you take to nurture integrity in your life?

Wisdom.

"Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life" - Sandra Carey

Wisdom-
a. knowledge
b. insight
c. good sense
d. judgment
e. a wise attitude of course of action

Wisdom is applying knowledge in order to live sensibly.

A women who practices discernment and sound judgment is attractive.

"A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout." -King Solomon =)Proverbs 11:22

An attractive woman who lacks discretion or wisdom can actually mar her loveliness. Yet an "unattractive" woman who is wise can be considered beautiful.

For wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare to it. Proverbs 8:11

To become wise we must desire to be wise.

"To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe"- Marilyn Vos Savant

Wisdom can be found everywhere, although we often need to separate it from a great deal of accompanying folly.

Spend time with wise people. Learn from their lives- from their mistakes as well as their successes. Seek out wise people that will mentor you.

If you dont learn to be flexible, then you will break.

Wisdom keeps us from making impulsive, foolish choices.

Proverbs 4:5 Get wisdom! Get understanding!
Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
6 Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you;
Love her, and she will keep you.
7 Wisdom is the principal thing;
Therefore get wisdom.
And in all your getting, get understanding.
8 Exalt her, and she will promote you;
She will bring you honor, when you embrace her.
9 She will place on your head an ornament of grace;
A crown of glory she will deliver to you.”

Proverbs is the book of Wisdom.

Questions for Discussion and Reflection:
1) How would you describe a wise woman?
2) What stereotypes does our culture give us of wisdom?
3) In your experience, who models or has modeled wisdom for you?
4) In what ways do other people consider you to be a gracious, wise woman?
5) In what ways would you like to become a wise woman?
6) What steps can you take to nurture wisdom in your life?

The foundation of true wisdom is the desire to know and acknowledge Yah in our lives.

Proverbs 2:1-11
My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
And find the knowledge of God.
For Yahuah gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;
He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
He guards the paths of justice,
And preserves the way of His saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice,
Equity and every good path.
When wisdom enters your heart,
And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
Discretion will preserve you;
Understanding will keep you,


Proverbs 9:10
The fear of Yahuah is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Colossians 2:2-3
2 that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and attaining to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the knowledge of the mystery of God, both of the Father and[a] of Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

James 3:17
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.